Dear Mom,
One month ago, you left us. It broke our hearts.
I remember being frustrated by the sheer randomness of your passing, its suddenness. You had so much to look forward to. But it happened. And we miss you.
I remember not being able to say goodbye as I'd wished. I regret not fighting harder then to make things happen. But we sent our youngest sister to be with Dad. I think you'd have understood and supported our plan in the end. All three of us were there in spirit.
I remember how you always wanted us to get along, how you were often sad because we'd quarrel, but never angry. You never gave up. You'd always mediate, up until our last conversation. Inserting yourself between our frustrations, well-meaning. We made peace as we always did. You'd never hold a grudge if we hadn't.
You should know that we are pulling together beautifully.
I saw your granddaughter for the first time three days ago. She's energetic but shy at times. She loves her father so very much, it's endearing. She also loves books, which I guess comes from her grandfather. Luckily you got to meet her. We'll love her on your behalf.
And so this brings me to Dad. Dear Mom: as we move forward, we'll make sure he keeps going too. That he doesn't stop being the intelligent, hard-working, compassionate person you enabled him to be. You know, he says you saved his life when you met. Together, you traveled the world. And the same way he was by your side when your mother passed when you were even younger than I am now, he was by your side when you passed painlessly. You were each other's forever, there is no doubt about that!
Dear Mom, as your only son and oldest child, I'll make sure your daughters are becoming all they can be. I'll listen and comfort, give them the hard talks when necessary. I'll be there. They know that.
Dear Mom, I promise to be the positive one. You know, I've actually taken it to heart to tell others to cherish their parents and loved ones. In a strange way, this has turned into a beautiful opportunity to help others reflect on their relationships. I think you'd enjoy knowing that.
Dear Mom, you should know I've cried at every wedding since you passed. Now, I truly understand what until the end means. I know you loved the films we make. I'll keep making them, and remind every one of my couples of what 35 years of marriage can be, what it can mean.
Dear Mom, I'll have more to say when we honour you, all together in a few months, but for now, I'll leave it at this: a friend told me I had so much of you in me.
Dear Mom, she was right. And I'm glad she was. Thanks for the life, thanks for the love.
Ton fIls, Chri
We always had so much fun together.
(Photo: Niv Shimshon)